I never imagined all things were entwined,
Like life in general, most especially mine.
Oh yes, I had heard of heaven and hell,
And I laughed and I scoffed: do tell me the tale!
For I am my own; to no one I owe,
And I'll choose for myself the way I shall go!
And so that I did, and life was just fine,
Yes, sometimes I wondered...but...I was still mine!
And oh how I loved and adored all my ways,
I had little for you, most certainly no praise.
You were nothing more than a punching bag for me,
I delighted in harm, it brought me such glee.
Sometimes in the dark and deep of the night
My thoughts would cover the areas of my life.
And every now and then my thoughts shuddered me,
And now I know it was my heart that did plea.
But any fear that I had, left each morning when I woke.
Daylight adorned me in glory: my egocentric cloak.
And when I grew old, it was too late to see,
That I hated all others because I hated me.
One evening, all alone, and so sure of myself,
In the darkness, bony fingers suddenly rapped on a shelf,
I gasped and I fell--to his great delight,
The death angel roared: "The fun starts tonight."
I begged and I pleaded, "Just why are you here?"
But he laughed and he mocked as he pulled forth a spear.
Before I could scream, I was already dead,
And I watched as he pulled a book out and read:
"This was your life, you did it your way,
Day after day, you never once strayed.
And here is the story of your life as you planned,
Just as you began, you'll see there's no end.
You'll not find connection anywhere in your plan,
For me and myself is a web of no end.
I'm proud of the way that you scorned all the others,
Mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers.
You brought them great pain, oh yes, you succeeded,
My expectations of you, you always exceeded!"
Now, here, take my hand, I'll help you from the floor,
What's that you say? It's me you abhor?
Forgive me for laughing, but on this you can chew:
For you are me, and I...well, I'm YOU!
Now don't look so sad, we're on the same path,
Eternally bound, together in wrath!
For me and myself have always been banned,
When the great one commanded love for fellow man.
But we chose to walk a path all our own,
And our lives are the creator of our eternal home.
©Karen Steward July 4th 2007